Do it for yourself

I realise that people who are on the verge of being rejected; be it in work, in relationships often claim that they do a lot of things for the other party. Eg, gal A will tell boy B that she did this and that for boy B in the hope of savaging the relationship and hopefully B will not dump her.

I think this can be pretty wrong. Why?

Because these people who did a lot of things for the other party, are actually doing it for themselves. They want to seek approval and acceptance, so that they will not lose something, which they perceive to be reasonable valuable.

Hence, I believe there is no such thing as doing something for other people. You can only do something for yourself.

I saw a nice post in "forum" section in the ST newspapers today by Ms Isis Bernadette Koh Wan Jing. Extracted the poem, which is so meaningful to me.

People are often unreasonable,
Illogical and self-centred;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind,
People may accuse you of
selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful,
You will win some false friends
and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank,
People may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building,
Someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness,
They may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good that you do today,
People will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have,
And it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis,
It is between you and God;
It is never between you and them anyway.